Finding a Way Back Home

I haven't lived at home for a long time. Years. Somehow, while I was cooking today, putting creative energy and soul into making a pizza, it brought back so many memories. Memories of my Dad. 
Memories of him cooking.

If I had to pick a theme song for this pizza it you be Brandi Carlile’s song, “Wherever is Your Heart."

"I think it's time we found a way back home
You loose so many things you love as you grow"

Anyone who knows Chris Shiraki knows that he loves food. I have always said that I think his two favorite things in the world are food and people, and I've never been 100% sure which comes first. Or possibly he has one favorite thing, good food with good people. All growing up we watched him work in the kitchen, slicing, smelling, savoring.  He loves cooking. He loves eating. He loves inviting people over to feed them his incredible food. It's the Hawaiian culture in him. And his generous spirit. His great love for all people. They call it, "the aloha spirit," and my dad has it in his veins. It's in his fingers and you taste it when you eat his food. You feel it in his hug and in his laugh.
I remember my mom having to limit the number of times he could invite people over for dinner in a week. With eight children at home she tried to reel him in. She loves people too though, so it never really worked. We are all talkers in our family. One time my mother walked down the street holding onto the window of our car as we drove away so she could finish a story. 
It was a good way to grow up. We had doctors and bishops and presidents of companies over to dinner. We also had homeless people over, people at the end of their rope with nowhere to go. We learned to love people. And we learned to love food. 
My dad has the kind of innate sense of taste where he can eat something amazing at a restaurant and go home and recreate it. He knows flavors, he knows how they work together and how they contrast or heighten each other. And if you stop and stay awhile, he will tell you how it all relates to the way the universe moves.
Because 'Grandpa Chris,' as my kids say, is a philosopher at heart. Everything he sees relates to a bigger picture. His religion and his work ethic permeate his life like a well seasoned roast, where every bite is full, rich, and purposeful.

"Though your feet may take you far from me, I know
Wherever is your heart I call home." 

As Brandi says in the song, I was born to roam. I left first for a summer working in Alaska when I was 16. For so many years my feet took me far away, here and there, Italy, Taiwan. In truth though, I never leave them behind. I can't escape my practical, frugal mother's heart. Mom taught me how to apologize, how to be okay being wrong. Dad gave me the gift of that aloha spirit. I love tying the strings of the universe together to see how they make sense. I love talking to people. I love all their varying hues of character and personality. I love feeding them good food. 
Some people think it isn't healthy to associate food with love. I don't know any other way to live. There just isn't anything like the feeling of putting a bit of your heart into a recipe and watching someone's eyes light up when it's just that good. For me, there isn't anything else quite like incredible food with good people. It's when I feel the most at home.

The Staples: Granola

Making granola has become a weekly ritual for me. We eat it every day, and we all love it! There is something about making my own breakfast cereal that makes me ever so happy. The fact that my kids eat it is practically a miracle. It's easy to change up the recipe so we never get tired of it. I also love that it has eliminated SO MUCH waste, no cereal boxes and bags always going in the trash. I buy everything in bulk, make batch after batch for months and I just wash and reuse my dishes. My kids love helping to roll the oats, mix it all together, and spread the granola. They love eating it fresh out of the oven even more!

Ingredients:

8 to 9 cups rolled oats (I never measure, just enough to fill a large mixing bowl)

2/3 cup (80g) natural honey                                     

2 tbsp olive oil

2 tsp vanilla    

Pinch of salt    
3 egg whites, beaten until just frothy (if you want you can add a bit more egg white and a bit less honey)                                                   

Optional Ingredients: Peanuts, Almonds, cashews, chocolate chips or raw cacao nibs, raisins, craisins, goji berries, chia seeds, flax seeds, a teaspoon or two of cinnamon, applesauce, the sky is the limit!

Instructions:  
I start by rolling my oats fresh from whole oat groats using my Komo Flic Floc Flaker. I also throw in the flax seeds so they get rolled as well. This insures that you get all the health benefits of the flax seeds. (Eating them whole you get the fiber, but they don't digest; eating flaxseed oil you get the omega-3 and lignans, but not the fiber; rolled you get it all!!!) I love rolling our oats fresh, but if you use already rolled oats, this recipe is even easier and faster!       

Grease or oil 3 baking cookie sheets.
Preheat your oven to 300F.
Put your honey, oil, salt and vanilla in a medium saucepan and heat until combined and runny. If you decide to add applesauce and cinnamon just lessen the honey by half and add 1/2 a cup of applesauce and 2 teaspoons of cinnamon. I do this periodically just to switch things up.

                                           
While that heats, combine your rolled oats with whatever optional ingredients you choose to put in.

Add your honey mixture into your oat mixture and then stir in your lightly beaten egg white. 

Stir until all of your oats are coated and pour onto your prepared baking sheets - spreading out into a thick layer about an inch thick.

I actually stir the honey and egg white (reserving just a little) into oats mixed with chia seeds and flax seeds, then pour half of it on a pan (the pan on the right, for the kids), then I add nuts, craisins, cacao nibs etc. along with the remaining honey and egg white and pour that onto a different pan (the pan on the left, for my husband and I). I have picky kids, what'ya'do? *sigh*

 Place your granola trays into the oven and bake for ~20-45 minutes (depending on your oven and how much granola you have) or until your granola is golden and crunchy and not very sticky. Rotate the pans during baking to ensure they are evenly cooked. I usually bake them for 15 minutes then rotate the pans around and do another 15 minutes. The smell is so heavenly, my boys stand by the oven waiting for it to be done.
Allow to cool completely before storing in an airtight jar or bag. It will keep for a month or so in a sealed container at room temperature. Ours never lasts longer than a week because we eat it up over yogurt, as cereal with milk, on top of a smoothie bowl, or just plain as a snack.
Enjoy, and let me know if you make it or if you add anything to the recipe that you especially love!!

The Burn

A person recently told me that losing weight isn't easy for them like it is for me.

I walked away.

So shocked and angry I couldn't respond. EASY.

Easy to cry every morning when my MATERNITY clothes are still too small for me but my baby is 3 months old.

Easy to work out 4-6 times a week for 10 MONTHS and see almost no progress.

Easy to check ads, meal plan, grocery shop (passing by all the treats and not getting them), meal prep, and do it all on a budget.

Easy to say no to the FREE treats that show up ALL the time.

Easy to not even lick off the jelly from my fingers from the sandwich I fed my baby.

Easy to eat tons of super clean food day after day.

Easy to wake up at 5:30 every morning to go lift weights. Every. Day.

Easy to do two or three workouts a day.

EASY to track and weigh ALL my food.

Easy to drink one to two gallons of water a day.

NOOOOOOOO! No! NO! NO!

I will never tell anyone that fitness is easy. It is brutally hard. I can't count the number of meltdowns I've had. I was consistent for an entire year and ridiculously hardcore for two entire months and I have earned every bit of whatever fitness I have.

I will never tell anyone that fitness isn't worth it. It is. I feel great. I love feeling strong and confident. I love everything that fitness has given me. Goal setting, long-term perspective, determination, patience, confidence in my ability to do hard things. Not to mention abs that I can see. Also, I can almost always open jars by myself now.

I remember dragging myself out of bed every morning last year to go work out. I hated it. At first I was determined to lose weight. So I made myself go. After a few weeks I began to notice how much better I felt all day when I exercised in the morning. If I missed a work out the rest of my day was noticeably crummier. So I kept pushing through, even though I was losing less than a pound a month.

As my eating got cleaner, the results came faster. I lost weight, but quickly I realized that my goals had changed. I no longer wanted to be skinny, I wanted to be strong and fit. I got more excited about pushing myself hard. I killed my workouts at the gym, and slowly, I grew to love it.

I feel weird saying this, but I love the burn. The feeling of burning muscles, tired and aching. I love pushing through that feeling, going past it, seeing how far I can go. At first I hated it, but I wanted the results, then I liked it for the emotional and physical boost to my day. Then I liked it a bit more because I was getting results. Now I feel like I love it just for itself. I love doing what was impossible last week. I love testing my mind and body to battle my fear and lift heavier. I love doing really hard things every morning first thing when I wake up. I love feeling sore and knowing that my muscles are growing.

Call me crazy, I know. But it's a very empowering feeling.

None of it is easy.
I recently went on vacation for two weeks and gained 7 lbs in cookies and milkshakes. (It was totally, blissfully worth it.)

I came home and hit the gym hard. Leg day, first thing. I'm so sore I look like an 80 year old every time I have to sit down. And I LOVE IT!!!!!!

Some days I feel like letting out a huge yell as I walk out of the gym!

YEEEESSSSS! This is me! I'm STRONG and getting STRONGER!!!! GAAAAAAAAAA!

I LOVE IT!

I got in better shape just from my daily habits. Working out, sleeping, drinking water, cooking and eating clean. I did take multivitamins, fish oils, protein powder and a few basic supplements. I never did a fad diet. I never took fat loss pills, or followed any kind of extremely restrictive diet. I never did a cleanse, or paid for any dieting plans. Just your basic clean eating. Meat, dairy, grains, veggies, fruits, legumes, eggs.

I love eating clean most of the time and indulging hardcore every once in awhile. I loved taking a vacation and feeling like I could eat a milkshake every other day and cookies on the in between days. I love coming home and feeling incredibly happy to return to eating mostly clean. Weight lifting every morning. Doing yoga with my boys. Running at night when Evan has to catch up on work stuff. Making new goals and knowing that I'll never be done.

To anyone thinking they want an easy way to lose weight: The best way is not Easy. You earn every bit of it. It takes countless choices. Daily patterns that become habits that transform you and your whole life.

It. Is. Worth. It.

2.5 months after Graham was born and my maternity clothes still cut into me like crazy.

I only ever posted pictures where most of my body was hidden by the kids. I was too embarrassed by my post baby fatness. But look at that chunk of cuteness I'm holding. I earned that baby belly.

A year and a quarter later I still get surprised that I can fit into my pre-baby clothes now! It rocks!

I have reached some of my fitness goals, and I have a long way to go on others. Some of them I may never accomplish. My calves and triceps are coming along, though. It is rewarding to see that there are some  results from the hours and hours and a year and a half of consistent effort. It seems long as you go through every day, but looking back, this happened so fast.

Note: I know a lot of people who do take fat loss supplements of some kind or another or pay for diet or exercise plans. I think these can definitely speed the process along and take a lot of effort and will power to complete. They are HARD to follow and like everything, if you want long term results, it has to become a life style of consistent habits. I just want people to know that you can do it all on your own. Whichever way you do it, it will be hard. And an incredibly empowering journey.

Note 2: I believe everyone should love their body. All bodies are miraculous and beautiful. I wish I had loved my body better throughout all the sizes I have been. I still feel fat most of the time. And honestly, when I was too big for all my clothes, I should have just bought clothes that fit and felt great in them. As I don't think we are done having kids, I am struggling to change my mentality to one of  loving my body more no matter the size. I am going to get bigger and I am going to continue the fitness journey. I hope this time around I will love the physical part of my soul better through all of its changes. That being said, I know that being in shape is healthier, will extend my life, prevent diseases, and I KNOW that it just feels great. All bodies are beautiful, everyone looks and feels better the healthier they get.

Note 3: I'm not in nearly as good of shape as I want to be, I still hate my love handles, saddlebags, and back fat. I can't wait to see how good of shape I can be in coming years as I make this a life long habit. In the meantime I am loving every workout for the struggle that it is.

The Letter

Recently a friend of mine who is still in high school asked me if I would help her with an assignment. She had to do a speech on how life gets better after high school. She just wanted to know how my life had improved after high school. 

This is what I wrote to her:

A major turning point in my life came the summer after my sophmore year. I was 16 and my mom let me go to Alaska for the summer to work.

I learned that I could support myself, and that I could get myself anywhere I wanted to go.

So the "better-ness" of my life started while I was in high school and has only gotten better since then.

First of all, I didn't graduate from high school. I moved my Junior year to a small rural school with very close-minded people. They wouldn't accept a lot of my credits, so my senior year I was going to be taking a lot of Freshman classes. I decided that I didn't need to waste a year of my life re-taking classes I'd already had. So I just went to college a year early.

That next summer I decided I wanted to go to Ireland. So I spent 2 months living with a family and working for them and all it cost me was a plane ticket. They took me to Scotland for a week. Glasgow to be exact. The whole time I was there I never understood a word anyone said.

Between Alaska, not graduating, and getting myself to Ireland, I really shattered my previous ideas of what life is like. I no longer thought that I had to follow certain patterns. I gained a LOT of self confidence through traveling by myself and through working hard and supporting myself. I saw other cultures that helped me to broaden my perspectives and understand that there are so many ways to live life. I learned that I wasn't always right. I learned that there were so many things that I had no idea about, no concept that they even existed.

I learned to be excited about the things I didn't know. I gained more confidence in the fact that there was a world of things I didn't know, but I could learn!

As I went to college, I learned to ask questions and to really seek to learn, not just to get a grade. I did the work for my sake, not for the sake of getting it done for a class or a degree.

I met a lot of people. I learned about my weaknesses and my strengths. Most importantly, I learned to be true to myself. To listen to my conscience, and to never do anything that I didn't feel was right.

I went to Italy and learned about art, passion, and excellence in your craft.
After college I went to teach English in Taiwan and I learned to be lonely. To walk in a world where you don't understand the language, the culture, or the customs. That was an incredible education. I learned about myself there, who I really am.

Then I went back home. And I learned that on my block in my hometown I could learn epic lessons from the guy sitting on the porch down the street. I learned that home was beautiful and epic and adventurous, I only needed the open mind to see it.

In short, life got better as my mind opened. I had experiences that challenged how I thought the world worked. I learned and was humbled and changed. I noticed and admired more of the world every day. I learned about my flaws as I made big mistakes, so I appreciated the people in my life more, their virtues and talents and their flaws. Life just got bigger and it all meant more.

Since getting married and having kids my life has improved exponentially. I've had to learn to be less selfish. I've learned about the choice of love. For the times when I don't feel love, but then I choose to do a loving thing or talk it out or apologize, and then afterwards I feel a new level of love because of the choice I made to be loving when I didn't feel it.

I love having more space in my head to not have to worry about boys and if a conversation meant something or not or if they like me or not. I love the confidence of always having someone who will be with me, who will always believe in me and love me.

Children are a challenge and a blessing. I have to give my all to my family, serve them and love them and do what they need, not what I want. And oddly enough, doing that gives me more joy than I ever had when I could almost always do what I wanted.

My life is better, happier, more confident, freer, and more exciting because of learning about the many counter-intuitive truths in life.

To be really happy I need to serve others, not do what I want.

To have satisfaction, I need to work hard, not have things given to me.

To feel confident I need to push the limits, go where I am uncomfortable and uncertain, not stay in my comfort zone.

To achieve success I need to dream big and fail over and over again and keep going, not do things that I know will succeed the first time.

To find love I had to love myself, know myself, and be willing to lose everything, to go out on a limb, to risk being hurt, not flirt or dress to attract.

To love myself I had to stand up against my friends and be willing to be alone, not be popular or accepted.

Sorry this is so long. I hope this is what you are looking for. I guess really, life got better when my prejudices, my patterns, my thoughts were challenged. Every person you ever meet has a lifetime of experiences that you can learn and benefit from. We all live in different worlds and share the same Earth, life gets better as you connect to more people and learn from them, as you experience different worlds. But that kind of thing doesn't have to wait until after high school.

The Tip of the Iceberg

I'm sorry, this is going to be a boring read unless you really want to know what we did. We've had a lot of questions about what we ate, supplements we took, and what our workout plans were. So I'm writing this as a reference for people with questions.

Also, I just want to say that I love all people, and all body sizes and shapes. I have shopped plus sizes and size small. I wish I had been better at loving my body in every size.  I am currently loving pushing my body to see how fit I can get. I know there are so many other priorities that take precedence, and I 100% support everyone in focusing on what they feel are their top priorities. I know that working out often can't be a top priority. For me, I have found that fitness is my best therapy and my whole soul wakes up and lives my whole day better. Working out, eating clean, and feeling strong benefit every other part of my life and most of all my family. That is why I do it.

Workouts.

I love the free programs on bodybuilding.com! I LOVE THEM. I am terrible with motivation to work out, and my hardest hurdle is deciding what to do. However, if someone else is telling me what to do, I can push extremely hard to finish even when it feels impossible. I'm stubborn like that. Getting a personal trainer is SO expensive, but seriously, the bodybuilding.com programs are like a free personal trainer.

To the women who are afraid of getting "bulky." This will not happen. You don't make enough testosterone. You will build lean muscle which will burn more fat all day long even when sleeping. You will not lose your curves. You will gain lots and lots of curves. Small  muscle definition curves. Big awesome curves. Working to build muscle will tighten your whole body, Your waist will shrink and your glutes will grow and shape themselves. LIFT HEAVY. Then LIFT HEAVIER!

You can't Tone what you Don't Have!!! Build Muscle!

My favorite programs so far:
Jamie Eason's Livefit 12 Week Trainer I did the first 8 weeks of this program over and over for months before I tried anything else. It is the best beginner program for men or women I've seen.
Jim Stoppani's 6 week Shortcut to Shred I did this one for the last 6 weeks of our Transformation Challenge. It is brutally awesome. In a 'I may not make it out alive' kind of way. I wouldn't try this one if you are just starting out.
Blueprint to Cut I'm currently using this plan, and man it burns!!!
12 Week Shortcut to Size I plan to do this one next, I'm excited to start my first "bulking" program, instead of shredding/cutting programs. This is where I will really build the muscle to get lean!


With the BodySpace app from bodybuilding.com I just pick a program based on my goals (lose fat, gain muscle, transform) and fitness level (beginner to expert), add the program to my calendar and then every day when I go to the gym it tells me what exercises to do, how many sets/reps, and so much more! Along the menu at the bottom I can see what my previous stats were for that specific exercise so I can continually increase weight. I can click on the Exercise Guide and read a description of proper form for the exercise, see pictures, and watch a video showing how to do it. This was SO HELPFUL at the beginning when I had no idea what I was doing. The night before I'd go through my workout for the next day and watch all the videos so I knew what I was supposed to do.

On the website I can track my max weight lifted for different exercises, my body measurements, my goals, weight gain and loss, body fat percentage, workouts, how much total weight I've lifted. (Tomorrow I will hit 200 workouts tracked and about 1.5 million pounds lifted)

On the app there is also a social aspect where you can be friends with other people and encourage each other etc. I also look at it for fitness memes, which I LOVE!

The only thing to be careful of is too much skin...a lot of people post pictures of themselves or others that I really wish they wouldn't. That is pretty much the only downside of the website/app, but if you don't look at the Fitboard and are careful of who you accept as a friend, it's easy to avoid.

Food.

If you workout, and eat pretty well, you can feel awesome and look good. If you want to see lots of muscle definition and get in great shape, there is no way around it, you will have to eat consciously. I don't think of it as dieting, but having a nutrition plan, eating to achieve your goals. I'd recommend doing some research, deciding on a plan, and tracking every tiny thing you eat with a food scale for at least a week or two until you can eyeball portion sizes and mentally keep track of eating the right amounts of the right stuff.

I'd start with the If It Fits Your Macros Calculator

Enter your stats. If at all possible get your body fat tested by someone who knows what they are doing so it will give you an accurate calorie projection. The pinching of the fat sucks, but put your pride on the shelf and know you are going to succeed.
Using this calculator, you can find out what your calorie goal should be every day. You can enter how much activity you do every week and what your goal is (either lose fat or gain muscle).

Once you have your daily calorie count it's time to think about macros.
Macronutrients are protein, carbs, fat. The percentage of each that you eat every day definitely matters.

I would go to bodybuilding.com's Female Training Bible.

This is an awesome reference, read the whole thing if you have time.

Or scroll down about two thirds of the way to the heading that says Your Body Type and Your Nutrition. It talks bout the different body types and what their macros should be.

I would pick one, use it for awhile, adjust it, feel it out, and see what works best for you. I don't use their exact macros, because I'm a little in between two of the body types. You will have to experiment to see what works for you.

If you read the next section on that page called portion control, it teaches you how to roughly estimate your portions. It also has some meal plan suggestions and links to other helpful pages.

I use the MyFitnessPal app to track my food. it takes a little time but it gets easier and faster the longer you do it. If you go to the menu and scroll down to "Goals" you can enter your own calories and macro percentages. Then as you enter your food in the Diary section, check in with the Nutrition section to see how you are measuring up against your macro goals. I do this all at the beginning of the day so I can plan what I will eat and know that it will fit in my macros.

Also, for those of us who hold on to fat, the fat macro percentage is really high. Don't flip out. We need a lot of healthy fats (salmon, avocado, almonds) so that our bodies become convinced that we DON'T need to hold on to any extra fat. We need less carbs, because excess carbs get converted into fat, and for some reason our bodies think that is the preferred thing to do. For the lucky people with metabolisms that burn up carbs as heat or laughter or whatever magical way they do it, they get to eat more carbs. No matter what your body type is, if you are weight lifting, you should be eating 80% to 100%  of your bodyweight in grams of protein. You want to build muscle.

The idea behind eating in macros is that you can eat cheat foods. They just have to fit in your macro counts. However, if you want to look your best, 80% or more of your food should be clean, whole food and then you can fit in some cheat food.

I am here to tell you this works. If you eat 100% clean whole foods while meeting your macro counts, it works even better. Within the first week or two the fat starts melting off like the butter you wish you were eating.

It isn't easy. But it works.

If you really want to torch some fat, carb cycle.
Carb cycling just means that some days you have high calorie, high carb days followed by lower calorie/carb days.

For example:
I'm a 30 year old female weighing about 140 lbs. I weight lift 6 days a week and do HIIT cardio 4 days a week.
My weight maintenance or TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) calorie count is a little over 2100. 
So two days in a row I'll eat 1,700 calories, with my macros as follows.
25% Carbs, 106 grams
35% Protein, 149g
40% Fats, 76g

Then two days in a row I'll eat 2,000 calories, with the following macros.
45% Carbs, 225g
30% Protein, 150g
25% Fats, 56g

I wish I could tweak MyFitnessPal so that I could be more specific in my macros so that I could aim to eat only my bodyweight in grams of protein, but it will only calculate in percentage increments of 5. Ah well.

But the goal in carb cycling is to alternate total calorie count up and down by 300. You can do as much as 600 if you want, but I like food, so I don't like to go too low. You also want to cut your grams of carbs by about half on the low days.
We tried doing a no carb diet for a couple of weeks and I don't recommend it. You need carbs for energy and your workouts are crap with no carbs. The only time I would do no carbs is if you are in the final week or two before a body competition or photo shoot.

The idea behind carb cycling is that your metabolism never adjusts down like it would if you were only eating a low calorie diet. It also keeps your body guessing as to where to get energy so it really starts burning your fat stores. Carb cycling = high, fat burning metabolism.

All of this is hard to do, and harder to keep up. But with a food scale (Our Food Scale) you can do it. Even if you scan food into MyFitnessPal, it is pretty inaccurate, you've got to weigh it! 

It takes planning and persistence.

This is a reference list of foods I keep on hand and use to fill gaps in my macros.
Foods high in protein, low in carbs and fat: lean meats, low-fat cottage cheese, beef jerky, non-fat plain greek yogurt

High carbs, low fat and protein: granola (Bear Naked granola is our favorite, it's super clean and low sodium) white and sweet potatoes, quinoa, oatmeal, brown rice, fruit and veggies

High in Healthy Fat: almonds, peanuts, avocados, salmon, olive oil

Supplements.

We do take supplements. It isn't necessary to get totally shredded, but it can help. This is getting long, so I'll just list them here along with some favorite recipes we've tried. if you have any questions I'd love to answer them if I can.

Protein Powder: whey protein isolate is the leanest and cleanest. Look at ingredient lists, go for the shortest list with items that you recognize. Also, look at cost per serving, instead of total cost if you can.
These are my favorites. This protein is fast absorbing. Take within 30 minutes to an hour of working out to help your muscles recover and build.

About Time Whey Protein Isolate My favorite. Clean. No carbs, no fat, no filler, no artificial sugar, and low sodium.

Now Sports Whey Protein Isolate 2nd favorite, Pretty clean, cheaper per serving. I alternate between the two.

I took CLA and Fish Oils to help promote fat burning and inhibit fat storage.
Tonalin CLA

Our fish oil is the Costco brand.

We take a daily multivitamin.

Creatine HCL, it supplies your muscles with energy. It also retains water, however, Creatine HCL draws water into your muscle but not subcutaneously whereas Creatine Monohydrate does both, so if you want more muscle definition go with HCL instead of Monohydrate.
Creatine HCL

We also use Casein protein before bed because it is slow absorbing and will help repair and build muscle all night while you sleep. We take it about an hour before bedtime.

Dymatize Elite Casein We get the Vanilla, it has by far the least sodium, and Evan gets heartburn, so he can't have chocolate close to bedtime.

Now Sports ZMA This helps repair muscles all night as well, take it right before bedtime.

Yummy, Yummy, Favorite Recipes

Italian Turkey Burgers
Creamy Avocado Chicken Pasta
Beef Veggie Stir Fry (I add sugar snap peas too)
Turkey Taco Lettuce Wraps (We eat these for breakfast---weird habits of high protein eaters)
Protein Mug Brownie An awesome substitute for the same old protein shake every morning! Eat with milk and it is SO GOOD!!!! (Maybe not as good as I think it is, but when you don't eat much processed sugar, everything tastes better)

I am not an expert, but I hope this helps! Experiment and Do Research, there are a lot of ways to get to the same result.

Good luck!

The Before and the After

In January I started a 12 Week Body Transformation Challenge. I needed a change of pace, a new beginning.
Also....we didn't have much extra money and I didn't fit into most of my clothes.
So there's some motivation.

I decided to go all in. Act as if I would win. Work like I knew I would win. $80,000 is nothing to sniff at so why not?

I weight lifted every morning 6 days a week, spin classes 3 days a week, Insanity and yoga in the afternoons, I ate cleaner than I have ever eaten for longer than I ever wanted to. TWO entire months of weighing and tracking all my food and not eating even one tiny cheat food.

I must be crazy. Totally crazy.

I changed a lot. The before and after pictures blow my mind. First of all, I never really thought it was in the realm of possibility that I would see my abs. Secondly, somewhere along the 12 weeks, I forgot about the importance of my appearance.

The first few weeks I got up extra early and went to the gym. I lifted weights and ate pretty clean. I tried to control portions and think positively. Somewhere around Week 3 I had my first of many meltdowns. I wasn't seeing much progress and the consistent effort and sacrifice were HARD!
I almost gave up, but right around that time Bodybuilding.com sent me an email saying that most people give up in Week 3. There are few things that motivate me more than telling me I'm average, that I can't do something, that it is too hard.

I started researching. I wanted to work harder. And Smarter! I learned a LOT and made a plan.
Then I did more research. I changed plans and got more specific.
The only real constant was the weights. Every morning at 6am I'd leave my house to KILL another workout. I made all the ugly faces. I pushed to failure, paused for a second, then pushed out a couple more reps. Then added some weight and did a couple more for good measure.
Every day. Every day.

By Week 8 or so it was a habit. One Saturday Evan suggested that I not go work out......I almost cried. He saw the look on my face and immediately reconsidered.

Cliche, I know. But really, lifting weights has changed my life. First thing every morning I do something hard. Really, really hard. I steel myself, grit my teeth and lift heavier. I sweat. I struggle. When I fail, I mentally size up what I'm made of, then decide that I am made of more and I push harder.

I do that every morning.

I can't express the internal miracle that has happened. I love my body. I am amazed by what I can do. I am impressed by the miracle of the body God blessed me with. Long before I saw my abs, I began feeling wonder and awe at this incredible temple that is my mortal shape.

This is a crazy, new feeling that I am unaccustomed to. I desperately wish I could give everyone I know the overwhelmingly transcendent high of feeling this way. I still have love handles and stretch marks, plenty of things that aren't aesthetically pleasing, but I. Love. My. Body. It is incredible in its imperfection.

I don't really agree with all of this meme--it is hard to workout.

However, the eating clean part. Yeeeeeees. Yes. Hard, hard, brutal. Saying no to cookies, cakes, ice cream, the stuff people give you. You don't even have to BUY stuff, people show up places and WANT you to EAT their delicious goodies! It is inescapable.
All I can say is, it did get easier. I know people say that, and I know it is true. The truth of that statement in no way diminishes the superhuman effort of the first few weeks. And the periodic moments even after the habit is established that hit you hard and fast and powerful.
When you've been good for weeks and then you smell the freshly baked something or other and your knees buckle.
Or when you are staring down a mountain of cauliflower and spinach and egg whites and the tears run down your face. And you eat it anyway.

The last couple of weeks we went totally without carbs. Except the carbs in vegetables. The last week we had no carbs and as little sodium as possible. Almost every day for lunch I fed my children peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. With my fingers.
Hard.
I wouldn't even lick my fingers because I knew I would cave and eat every baked good in sight.

For me, this felt like an achievement comparable to climbing Mt. Everest.

WEEKS!! MONTHS!!

It didn't happen overnight. It grew slowly, the choices picked up steam as I went. The inner strength and determination I found while weight lifting created the momentum I needed to make hard nutritional choices all day.

In the end. I don't think I'll win the $80,000. I never took any fat burners, I didn't have a personal trainer, and I definitely learned as I went.

I don't even mind.
I lost 15 lbs.
I lost 10.75% body fat.

I gained a pound of muscle.

I am 15 lbs. heavier than I was when I got married, but I fit into those same clothes.

I came right up against the bedrock of who I am. I conquered fears. I struggled and persevered.

I learned something in a real, physical, tangible way: The way to growth is straight through the pain.
Society today wants everything easy and immediate. Happiness Now!
It just doesn't work that way.
Real lasting happiness is earned. You cry, and grunt, and burn. Push. Heave. Strain. Collapse.

Sometimes no one even notices the sacrifices, the effort. And the option to quit is always so easy and so present.

The joy of a job well done, of hard effort, of struggle, of growth. I have missed out on so much of that joy, because I didn't want it. And the easy road only has so much shallow, repetitive pleasure to offer.

I guess in the end, this 12 week challenge gave me two lasting things.

One.
The joy of the pain. I learned to appreciate, to actually enjoy and recognize the beauty of the failed effort. Effort at all, for that matter. Life throws heavy punches. We all feel them. The times that strike you to your knees with the weight of pain, sorrow, guilt, anger, loss, or monotony. If only somehow in the moment we can feel the joy of soul stretching growth, life would never be able to keep us down. And maybe not always joy-- for some punches, there is just the pain. But we can have satisfaction, pride even, knowing that we will survive. Knowing we can conquer, change. It is a choice, but the pain and the failure can be used to steel our resolve to improve.
The pain IS our improvement.
And we don't have to wait for the results to come to feel happy! We can be happy IN the struggle. Find a deeper, stronger, subtler kind of joy in the dead center of our hardest times.
The craziest, possibly questionable idea.....is that we can choose to make life hard.
To attack our weaknesses.
To aim painfully high and seek out our limits.
To set goals so big you set yourself up to fail majestically.
Over and over again. It's a brand new idea for me, terrifying and exhilarating.

To be happier I need to make my life harder.....It sounds so wrong.
But in practice it feels like Freedom. Adventure. Adrenaline. Alive. 

(Just so you know I am taking this idea seriously: In January I set a goal to get totally shredded and see all my abs and obliques in 12 weeks. I failed, but I can see my top 4 abs pretty well.
I failed.
Period.
But I SMASHED straight through all previous fitness goal successes in my life.
The day that challenge was over, I decided that by July 1st I am going to deep clean our entire house. Every closet and corner and the garage. I am going to work like I will accomplish this even though I have no idea if it is really possible. Also...I've already entered another body transformation challenge. My mother told me I wasn't built to do pull-ups. That I shouldn't even try. I love you, Mom. Thanks for handing me my next goal.)

Two.
You. All of the "you"s in my life. It is overwhelming to me how incredible people are. The family, friends, and even acquaintances in my life brim over the top with their excellence. As I have looked with different eyes the last couple of months, I have seen people conquering personal demons, persevering through real tragedies, and, sometimes the hardest of all, living with love, grace, and real daily strength. Those tiny unobserved moments of every day life. Those are the ones that have brought me to tears recently. To the people in my life who I see making those tough daily choices to be cheerful, to be kind, to be honest, to be patient, to be vulnerable, to be good, to endure, Thank you. Thank you so much for your life and your example.

You are not average. You are not ordinary. You were never meant to be.


For the people who asked:

Disclaimer: Bikini top was purchased solely for these pictures.

For the record. I could never have done this without the unfailing support of the naturally leanest person I know, who still managed to lose 5% body fat.